Living in this time we are faced with so much pressure to perform. To be graduated at a certain age, to have a prestigious job, to be successful. And now with social media, with the beautiful price of $0 you can get an additional pressure to constantly fit trends and beauty standards. Like damn, it can get so overwhelming.
This climate we have created for ourselves has so much problems, (honestly I could write a whole dissertation on the effects this has on people) but one consequence I think is affecting me personally is this constant need to invest in tomorrow.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
Have you ever had a coupon or like piece of candy or cake, and said to yourself, “I’m going to save this for a better day” And then it just ends up expiring? like, “Aw man, I should’ve just used it then”?
I think some people subconsciously do that to life.
Some hard-working people, while striving to invest future they want, come across something they could enjoy right now…. and say, ‘later.’ Not realizing there could be a time stamp on the people they love, the things they enjoy, or their own self.
This is something that I did to myself without knowing. A while ago I kept feeling intense anxiety over the future and really dark thoughts, it was so weird, I really had to stop myself and ask, “why does it feel like the end of the world when I am faced with a setback?” It seemed uncharacteristic of me to freak out that much over something out of my control. Looking back, it’s because I’ve placed something in the future that had no business being there: my happiness, self-worth, or ideas I wanted to see out.
Don’t Hoard Good Ideas
If you sit down with any creative or entrepreneur, they probably have a (hidden) list of projects they want to execute in the future. Projects they have sitting in the burner to do once they are more skillful, have better resources, or timing.
While that is smart and strategic… I did that with everything. Even something so silly as this photo I used for this blog post, The Time I Swapped My Iphone for a Pink Bedazzled Flip Phone
I loved the aesthetic so much a I said, save it for another project. But before I hit upload I was like you know what… that’s so stupid. It’s cute, I don’t care if it’s just a random ‘useless’ post, I’m going to use it now. It’s so crazy how emotions can spill over into every decision your life.
I think I was struggling with feeling like I didn’t ‘deserve’ to do an idea because I’m not where I want to be or I was overly judgemental of my skills. I don’t really know but that’s something to talk about another day.
If you are a creative/entrepreneur, bringing ideas to life is your happy place. Don’t deprive that from yourself, it doesn’t have to be perfect or the greatest idea, you don’t have to have all the resources, but the process is enjoyable. You will learn a lot and you never know where it will lead you. Take one project out the burner and use it before it expires!
Letting a Good One Go
I have a really close friend who I love dearly, who I actually consider a role model in so many ways. She bumped into this guy from her high school past, they became close, and I was so astonished to see a match so perfect. But unfortunately this guy decided to walk away from one of the most perfect people I’ve personally ever met, because he wasn’t where he wanted to be in life. She was really heartbroken and he really was too.
You can argue the case he did the right thing because finance is extremely important, and I’m not going to disagree with you. But looking at this guy, I couldn’t help feel saddened by his choice. I understand you are putting things on pause, hoping for a better future…..but love too? You are going to bank on your future giving you love? That honestly is too much pressure for yourself, I don’t know him or how he’s doing but it must be hard.
I’m not saying go out and throw yourself into a responsibility like marriage you know you aren’t ready for, but sometimes situations like that happen in life, opportunities present themselves, it’s important to think about yourself now just as much as you think about your future. We don’t know how much time we have on this earth. If you have the chance to grow and build with someone you love, it might be worth doing it. The long way is the most scenic route.
All in all
All in all, as I am building for myself I am making sure I am living for myself too. To make this a balance is a priority for me, as hungry as I am for a better life I’m trying to enjoy my life as is, be proud of myself as I am, and love what is around me. I am going to invest both time and money into who I am right now. To me that’s the definition of self love, making sacrifices just for things that will make you happy today. With balance, of course.
I also think it’s a form of self love to defy this pressure that is thrown at us, the feeling you aren’t ready or aren’t good enough for the things you want right now. Whether it is love, creating art, or embarking on a business venture, do it now!! I’ll leave with this quote:
Beware of Destination Addiction – the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.– Robert Holden, Ph.D.