Blog,  personal

There is room for everyone, even my flawed self

  • There is room for everyone, even for my flawed self

That’s something I’ve been trying to remind myself a lot this winter. This affirmation reminds me that there is enough room for everyone to get what they want, there is space for everyone to succeed. Sometimes its easy to fall into feelings of inadequacy in comparison to the super-talented, super-speedy, people-who-get-things-right-the-first-time-around. Cause I am definitely not the type of person to get things right the first time. Or the second. Or the third. lol.

But as I am in my latter attempts, I can’t help but start to wonder: Am I going the right way? Should I just get off from here? How do I know I’m making the right choices? Is it even written for me? 

If you don’t take the time to sit and work on this inner dialogue, you’ll end up like me and unknowingly ended up in a pit of self-hate.

The pit

When I was in this space I wallowed in self-pity, distracted myself, and it conveniently doubled as a hiding spot from the world and my problems. I was so mad at myself for the mistakes I was making. I think this happens to everyone at some point in their life- when you cross the line of overworking to the point of emotional fatigue. Eventually I realized that this habit wasn’t healthy, and it’s best to check up on yourself routinely instead of waiting till I get to this point.

So what?

Theres difference between judging yourself VS. Being judgemental of yourself. To me, being judgemental of yourself is unproductive & unforgiving, whereas judging yourself is judging your actions, not you. It is closer to it’s literal meaning- it is taking yourself to court, going over the evidence, and holding yourself accountable. A judge won’t hold you accountable for the rain, nor the person who rear-ended you during a storm. But they would hold you accountable for your speed or if you were texting. All I should be doing is reviewing my most recent performance and seeing where I can improve. Nothing more than that. 

“So what” is something I started to say to myself to combat these negative thoughts. Failed a business project? So what? Embarrassed yourself in a meeting? So what? It’s allowed me to accept the inevitable flaws that come with being human.

Perfectionism is a disease. It robs us from joy of the journey and I’ve been guilty of this a lot lately. I’m learning to let go of the idea of a perfect path, cause that is definitely not real. And I know as life goes on, there will be many more opportunities to do better. There will also pits I will come across, some much deeper and scarier, but hopefully as I get older I will be more of a friend to myself and learn to avoid, or at least climb out of them quicker.

All in all,

My hustle is flawed, it is messy, it’s sometimes a bit slow. My hustle consists of a lot of trials and errors. But even if my hustle unconventional, it doesn’t take away from me or stop me from I’m headed. 

So friends, let’s be flawed and be good at being flawed. Let’s embrace the lessons the come from mistakes. I’m gonna keep climbing out of pits I fall into, and I hope you do too.

How is your hustle messy?

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