I want to share with you guys something I wrote in my private journal. I was really reflecting on life and all that:
“Life is best lived when we remember we are here for a short period of time and we are here to experience, not control. We do not know how the events that happen in our life will benefit us, nor do we have an understanding of the ripple effect it will have in the future. We experience people, we experience visiting places, building a home, but none of these things are ours. As time ticks towards the end of our show, these experiences will enter and leave our life and new things will fill its place. We are temporary.
This is not to say nothing we do matters- I think that is a sad and dangerous thought to have. Ultimately, we do have control. We control how we move as these experience come and go in front of us— do we ride the waves or do we let the adventures go by? Do we go after the things we truly want? Are we kind to people during the split moments where our lives intertwine? Are we forgiving? Are we brave?
I really think I am beginning to understand that the greatness of this world and the greatness of fate is a much, much bigger force than me. This feeling is similar to one that arises when one comes across a mountain, waterfall, or large animal- there is this level of respect and awe. Of humbleness. This life, as scary as it can be, is also really beautiful.
I think the concept of control (or lack of it) really brings out the fear in me, but what is much worse is numbing ourselves to life, not going after what we really want (in hopes to avoid pain). Because when we reach our deathbed we will realize that every ounce of the very pain we were avoiding has accumulated in front of us- in the form of regret.
So I’m going to grab every adventure I possibly can, experience everything- even pain, and I am going to be happy with whatever my story turns out to be. I find content knowing I’m here sharing what I’ve learned, creating bonds, and that I’ve tried as much as I could with the resources and people around me. Every morning I reach my destination.”
This is the philosophy I’ve adopted recently, let me know what you think! What thoughts did it spark?