After Winter, Comes Spring – Building a Dream from the ground up

If you have read any of my blog post in the past, it is clear that I was really struggling to figure this art thing out. I can’t even count how many years its been, I am now entering my 30s and only now does it feels like it is coming together. For my entire 20s it felt like every time I overcame an obstacle, I fell into another one. It was truly a prolonged winter season. 
But after winter, comes spring. Allhamdulilah I’m grateful I persevered! A lot has happened

Last time I really wrote about myself, I got laid off from my job and had to pause my business which felt like for the millionth time (it was not). I really want to “attribute” a shift in my life (I shared why I am hesitant to say this) to going to Umrah and being consistent in my istighfar.  I ended up getting two jobs related to my degree, and I started making more money than I have ever made in my life allhamdulilah. I used this money to really start investing into my business again. It felt like things started to finally piece together

“You have to come”

I really believe there are certain things that come when you make a commitment to radically changing different aspects of your life. One of those things is changing your social circle. Without getting into too much detail, I really made a shift in the type of people I allowed in my life. I let go of the guilt that comes with that (theres this weird feeling of abandoning others? Or fear of being alone?) and made space that would eventually be refilled with better friendships, ones that were not just reciprocal in growth, but also reciprocal in care and in accountability. It really does wonders. 

I now had people in my life that were introducing me to like-minded individuals, ideas, books, and art. And through that I started to met really cool people, including my mentor, and I also had the opportunity to meet some cool farmers (shout-out to my favourite cousin and name twin Asli <3). Through these connections I was able to work on a really cool project which was to turn this barn into a wedding venue:

I was hoping this project would wrap up and launch this summer but there are some legal conversations that are happening with the barn management and land owners (which have nothing to do with me), and so it is unfortunately put on pause. I was really hoping to have the work I’ve done be showcased but alas, it is apart of business.

After departing from that, in 2025 I’ve spent my time working on marketing and funding my own projects. In the beginning of spring, I stopped working one of my full time jobs and kept a part time one. And so for the first time in my life I am working part-time, and working on my business full time. I am getting more consistent bookings and now I have a smalls studio space. I also got a small grant to support my business! All because of Allah(swt)

200sq ft. is very small but it’s mine and I love it. I added a few things but I’m hoping to make the re-vamp slowly.

I’ve also began the process of growing my own flowers (and a few herbs and vegetables)! I absolutely love farming, I think it’s so important to learn how to grow your own food. There might be a world war and society as we know it could collapse lol.

It all feels so slow, but maybe it is meant to be this way

I think the biggest thing I learned through this season is that it will always feel a little strange, it will always feel unconventional. As I am chasing this dream of mine, I don’t think there was ever a time that I thought I was doing it the way that it looks online, or the way that felt linear. So many days go by that feel like it amounts to nothing. And speaking with other people I started to realize maybe this is how it is suppose to be.

All in all,

It is really important to refuel your why, make sure you are consistent, even if it is slow. Tiny is mighty: you have to let it all compound. The right people will see it eventually.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free

It feels so weird to witness what is going on in the world and still have to continue your life. My heart hurts for the people of Palestine, our failure as an ummah, and at all the work and effort rasullallah(s) endured to establish the commands of Allah(swt) upon us. I feel upset with myself that I am not in a position to do anything, but maybe that is an incorrect way to think. If a billion+ people think the same, maybe we are doing something wrong.

I will continue to resist in the smallest ways. I refuse to fall to the fear tactics to try and criminalize language. I refuse to accept the reframing of resistance as calls for violence. I will continue to say “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.” I will continue to call it an ethnic-cleansing. There is no self preservation by remaining silent, if being silent aids the oppressor. I do not want to succeed in a system that requires me to be morally bankrupt to survive. Let me burn with it!!

Also, I don’t believe I can magically gain the will to stand up against greed, imperialism, and injustice once I get to a comfortable place, if I have had my head down and complied the entire way there. If you are scared to lose the little you have now, what about when you have a lot? It is important to train the muscle.

Tiny truly is mighty

Now more than ever it is I see the consequence of not building not just as a individual but as a community. In Toronto, I feel the consequences of us neglecting the gun violence, the apathy, underlying qabiil issues and siloed culture. I have had a little project within my part time job over the last year to try to assist the amazing people combating the issues we are facing in the Somali community. I hope I can contribute in some way to building a unified people.

May Allah allow those who are building for the right sake to succeed, for the community to succeed, for the ummah to succeed.