I feel like I haven’t been personal in my last couple of posts and I feel obliged to keep it real with this blog and let it be known it’s cause there’s not really much to say. I’ve been building routines, trying to stay focused, working on my goals. A little lacklustre but it’s true.
The thing about being consistent is that things start to feel repetitive and boring, there’s not much going on. Consistently failing, consistently learning, consistently building. I’ve become quieter, listening to life and observing my habits. I’m starting to understand why people like to distract themselves to life because it gets hard looking at yourself as a work in progress and never being satisfied with what you’ve accomplished yet. It’s hard telling myself what my mistakes are, or telling myself to try again to figure out how to get what I want.
I have multiple dreams that I’ve been working on at the same time and I’m wondering if this might be a mistake. I find myself always wondering: Am I spreading myself too thin? Should I be focused on one thing instead of the other? Is this decision causing me to fall behind?
For example, one of my dreams I’ve mentioned before is getting into academia. I never had a time limit on this goal, and I’m really happy with getting this degree while I’m building the rest of my life, but people act like you’re committing a federal crime if you want to get a degree at on your own pace. They think you are being lazy or you aren’t disciplined enough.
I think people are so accustomed to seeing life being lived one way they really don’t understand when you do your own thing. What’s wrong with designing my own life?
How I’m dealing with this
I’ve been trying to remind myself I made the decision to venture off and do things my way, and this is part of the repercussions. When the comments get too much or I start to feel alone on this, I try to remind myself of all the promises I have to myself on the things I want to accomplish in this life. This is more than just about getting an income.
Another thing I did that really helped was limiting sharing with people who aren’t on the same journey as me. Not out of dislike or anything like that, but I think no matter how confident you can be, it’s important to take time to read, spend time, or listen to people who are pushing boundaries in our fields, just to remind ourselves what we are trying to achieve, no matter how untraditional, has been done before, and is very much possible. Otherwise you’ll always feel like your life and ideas can’t be yours.
All in all,
I feel like the internet has become a place where people want to share the conclusions to chapters and I don’t mind showing the spaces in between. I don’t know how long it will take but I really can’t wait until I’m at a place in my career(s) where I can create full time. This is really all I think about. Inshallah. I love this stage of trial and error, but sometimes I get frustrated by this repetitively and lack of stability.
This is probably the last life update I’ll give in a while, I’ll let you know when things change! Pray for me!
I’ll leave with a quote I currently have pinned on my desk:
“you learn all the secrets to success on your way up. Most folks want to skip the process. When you skip the steps, you miss the lessons“